The Pain of Losing Weight

I hit rock bottom on a trip from a weekend getaway at a friend's house. Aside from feeling tight when sitting beside someone in a public utility vehicle, I had to suffer from comments that I'm getting rounder and rounder each time they see me.

164 pounds. 74 kilograms. That's how much I weigh right now and the reason for what I think is an impeding onset of depression. A few years ago, roughly six years ago, I only weighed 125 pounds. That's roughly 6.5 pounds increase in my weight every year.

Here's a chart of my steady gain in weight for each year since 2005.


2005


2006


2007


2008


2009


2010


2011


I can still remember when I'm panicking going over 140 pounds. It's still clear in my mind when I started hitting 150. And now that I'm beyond the dreaded 160, I feel depressed, useless and hopeless, and frankly, it's really scary for me.

Being depressed over my weight isn't something that I expected to feel. I mean, some people who don't know the real deal about me say I should just cut on my eating habits, while those who do either tell me to exercise and make up an excuse for it.

As it is, I doubt if I can lose weight even by starving myself. About four years ago, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome or PCOS, a hormonal disorder that is common in women. My doctor gave me Metformin, a diabetis prescription to help relieve PCOS symptoms by helping the body absorb insulin. It may have worked, except the medicine is too potent for me that I ended up with gastritis. Hence, I was forced to quit the medication.

PCOS shouldn't be too bad, except that with it comes hypothyroidism, a problem in the thyroid gland. Hypothyroidism and PCOS coupled together sort of blew my chances of losing weight. I would never forget when my doctor said that I can stop eating and I'd still blow up like a balloon. So much for chances, eh?

To keep PCOS from giving me ovarian cancer or making me ineligible to have a baby, I started taking birth control pills to force my body to menstruate by itself. Of course, we all know the stigma about birth control pills and their ability to get the user to gain weight due to water retention.

So now, I'm in the middle of the bridge. I'm hitting 26 in a month and my chances of losing weight are getting slimmer and slimmer by the minute. I think of cheating and buying weight loss pills, but I'm afraid of the side effects as well as burning my pockets with the cost.

With all the helplessness looming around me, I've decided that I'll do everything in my power to lose weight. I plan to lose 5 pounds for every two months while keeping myself healthy.

Through faith and perseverance, weight loss, here I come!